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Why I Hate Whole Body Listening: Thoughts from an OT
I cringe when I think of how many times I said, “whole body listening, please!” when leading an OT group.
I read them all the books on whole body listening, and made visuals of “hands in lap”, and “quiet mouth”.
*CRINGE*
Even as an OT who understood sensory needs, I followed what I saw.
Whole Body Listening was IN.
Since then, I’ve done an entire makeover of my interventions and how I speak and treat my clients and all neurodivergent individuals.
What I stopped doing immediately
The first thing I did was listen to Autistic voices, mostly the ones that were taking the time to educate us on social media about what it’s like being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, and how some of the well-intentioned therapists they worked with throughout their life actually made some things harder for them, unintentionally.
I took that information and did a deep reflection on the ways I thought about working with neurodivergent clients, including the goals I was setting and the expectations I was holding them to.
This included things like
- Expectations for sitting still
- Asking for eye contact
- Saying “Use your words”
- Trying to manage, shape, or change the way they played with toys
- Using breaks as “rewards”
A lot of these things fell into the realm of whole body listening and behaviors that we were expecting our neurodivergent kids to exhibit (or not exhibit) during big group learning times, like circle time or rug times.
I know what you’re thinking
One of the most common pushback questions I get is, “Well, how are we going to prepare them for the real world? They’re going to have to learn to sit quietly in some settings to be successful.”
Or, “They need to learn how to interact in society in a socially appropriate way, or they won’t make friends or have successful relationships.”
You can insert some form of that conversation for basically all of the accommodations I advocate for.
Here’s my usual response.
Our world, including the social norms we’re expected to adhere to, is based on neurotypical traditions and abilities.
It’s a world built by neurotypicals, created for neurotypicals.
Neurodivergent people are not less than. They deserve to have the same success and access to their community and relationships as neurotypicals do. For that to happen, we need to adapt, modify and accommodate settings and expectations for them.
We shouldn’t focus on teaching neurodivergent individuals how to act more neurotypical.
We need to teach them how to advocate for themselves. We need to teach them how to be more confident in their rights as equal human beings.
We need to focus on teaching neurotypical individuals how to be more neurodiverse affirming.
Would you ask a physically disabled person in a wheelchair to walk upstairs?
I sure hope not.
You would expect that building to have accommodations for handicapped individuals, like a ramp of some sort or an elevator.
We should accommodate and support the needs of neurodivergent individuals just as much as we do for physically disabled individuals, and it starts with looking at what we are expecting of them and why we expect it of them to begin with.
Of course, that’s the end goal, a world where accommodations for neurodivergent individuals is just a given and less of an inconvenience to society.
But we can start our work today by teaching neurodivergent children how to advocate for themselves and willingly accommodating their needs while practicing skills that are within their abilities.
Forcing them to adhere to neurotypical norms (and punishing them for not doing this) is not okay.
{*One side note to insert here. I always hear Black Autistic creators on Instagram (nigh.functioning.autism is one of them) share about the dangers that come from being Black, Autistic, and not knowing how to act “neurotypical” in front of law enforcement. I completely understand the nuance and unfortunate reality that these families live with and while that’s not my story to tell, I wanted to call that out here and invite you to learn more from that creator on Instagram.
Why I don’t like whole body listening
OK, let me get back on track to what this episode is about: whole body listening.
This is a common expectation teachers or therapists place on kids that dictates how their bodies should “appear” like they’re actively listening to the speaker or teacher.
Notice how appear is in quotes.
How can someone else outside of my body judge if I’m listening or not, solely based on how my body looks?
Whole body listening demands things like
- Eyes on the speaker
- “Quiet hands” (usually depicted by hands in their lap or by their side)
- “Quiet feet”
- “Still body”
- “Quiet mouth”
Adults who teach this are communicating that unless your body is completely sitting still, with your hands in your lap, eyes gazing at your teacher with your mouth shut then you’re not being a “good listener”.
This is troubling because this is not the only way people learn.
People, especially neurodivergent learners benefit from things like
- Fidgeting
- Doodling
- Rocking back and forth
- Standing instead of sitting
- Visual stimming
They need this kind of sensory stimulation to be regulated.
And, guess what?
You need to be regulated to learn. Period.
Why whole body listening doesn’t work for neurodivergent people
I’ve heard from so many neurodivergent adults and Autistic individuals who said that the energy it took them to quiet their entire body to “appear” like they’re listening physically made it 10 times harder to focus and learn anything at all (click here to read the comment thread from these individuals)
The brain wants to keep our body regulated, comfortable, and alive, so it will tell our body to do things involuntarily to keep it that way.
When something is loud, we cover our ears.
When something smells, we cover our noses.
When our body feels stiff and achy, we get up and stretch.
You see where I’m going with this right?
When your body is in the middle of listening to a long talk or conversation, do you ever have the urge to twirl your hair, click a pen, or tap your foot?
That’s self-regulation, your brain is sending a message to your body to do this to stay regulated so you can focus.
For neurodivergent children, their self-regulation attempts can sometimes be more obvious, more intense, and more frequent; like rocking back and forth, getting up and pacing, hand flapping, doodling, or chewing on things.
Simply telling them to “sit still and focus” will not override the brain’s message to self-regulate.
What it does is create all this extra cognitive effort for their brain to say “oops, guess this natural urge we have is wrong, got to send all these extra signals out to the body now to stay still…” and all that energy could have been spent learning while the body did it’s natural thing to regulate.
What we should be teaching instead of whole body listening
Back to my example of a physically disabled person using a wheelchair.
Let’s say for the sake of this example, this person has the motor ability to walk and climb stairs, but it takes significant energy and strength to do so.
When you approach a flight of stairs, would you tell them “Ok, stand up, and walk upstairs”.
I certainly hope not!
Why would you make them suffer and spend so much energy doing that when you could take them through an elevator or a ramp?
So here’s what I would love to hear teachers use instead of whole-body listening.
- Instead of requiring hands to be still and saying, “calm hands”, allow them to fidget. You could say, “oh it looks like your hands need a job. You can squeeze this”.
- Instead of requiring their body to sit completely still, allow them to rock back and forth or stand up to get movement. You could say, “oh, it looks like your body isn’t comfortable on the ground. You can stand up behind the circle or you can sit on this chair”
- Instead of requiring eye contact (this may be hard for some neurodivergent children), allow them to have a point of focus that’s not on a person’s face or eyes, you may need to workshop with them on this. You could say, “I notice it’s hard to look at me when I talk. That’s okay. Next time you can look at the board or another area as long as you can still hear my words.”
You get the point.
You can help redirect their regulation strategies to something that’s more “appropriate”.
Not all behaviors need to be redirected or changed
But here’s the super important part.
Take a deep dive and self-reflect on what you label as “appropriate”.
Appropriate doesn’t mean you have to like it.
Appropriate for the classroom means that it’s safe and it doesn’t take away from their ability or others to learn.
Sometimes kids do things that are already “appropriate”, but you may still have the knee-jerk reaction to redirect it or stop the behavior, even if it’s safe and not distracting to others.
For example, I once observed a classroom where a student kept fidgeting with his shoelaces. The teacher was so sweet and wanted to help him and allow fidgeting, but she kept asking me to offer a replacement fidget for this, and everything she tried, he lost and never kept.
I finally asked her, well “is there a problem with fidgeting with his shoelaces? It’s always on him, he’ll never forget it, no one else can grab it from him… seems pretty functional to me.” She finally agreed, and the kid never needed another fidget for the rest of the year.
What are some examples of necessary modifications?
You might need to get creative in where you seat sensory-sensitive children vs sensory seekers (i.e. I’d try not to seat them close together).
Or if you have a visually distracted child, sit them closest to the teacher while the one who needs to get up and move and rock back and forth is behind the visually distracted student or sitting/standing behind all the students.
There is always a way to make room for all kinds of learners.
{click here to learn more about classroom accommodations for SPD kids)
Want to start an open dialogue with your child’s teacher? Check out my free template here!
How to appropriately introduce fidgets or sensory accommodations
The other common pushback I get from teachers is usually about other neurotypical kids “taking advantage” of fidgets, sensory tools, or accommodations. They worry that if they let the neurodivergent child use a fidget, then everyone will want to use one even if they don’t need it and then it becomes a distraction for the whole class.
I get that. You can remedy this by educating the whole class on different learning styles. Teach the students that sensory tools and fidgets are not toys, they help someone learn.
When a tool/strategy becomes distracting to that learner, it’s no longer an appropriate tool for them.
I would spend a few days exploring different learning profiles and sensory needs for each kid.
Give them a chance to learn about the way their body and brain learn while also learning how to accept their peers’ differences in learning.
The bottom line:
So, here’s the bottom line:
- Whole body listening is an ableist expectation that is not inclusive of neurodivergent brains.
- Instead, we should focus on accommodating different learning styles, which includes honoring different sensory needs.
- Educate the whole class on the expectations of using sensory tools/sensory accommodations.
Episode Links
Episode transcript: https://www.theotbutterfly.com/podcast
The OT Butterfly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theotbutterfly
Work with Laura: https://www.theotbutterfly.com/parentconsult
@nigh.functioning.autism on instagram https://www.instagram.com/nigh.functioning.autism
EPISODE 45
Why I Hate Whole Body Listening: Thoughts from an OT
As an Occupational Therapist, I get asked all the time what my thoughts are on ABA, and if I think ABA is harmful. Keep reading to learn more about an OT’s perspective on ABA therapy, some alternatives to ABA therapy, and how to ensure your Autistic child can thrive even if they are in ABA...
As an Occupational Therapist, I get asked all the time what my thoughts are on ABA, and if I think ABA is harmful. Keep reading to learn more about an OT’s perspective on ABA therapy, some alternatives to ABA therapy, and how to ensure your Autistic child can thrive even if they are in ABA therapy. ABA (Applied behavioral analysis) therapy is a type of intervention where people are trained in behavioral analysis and use that lens to manipulate (either increase a certain behavior or reduce another behavior) behaviors in children, it’s most often used and associated with Autistic children. I’ll be talking about my thoughts on ABA as an intervention for Autistic children, and discuss the practices that have made ABA seem harmful to the Autistic community. As an Occupational Therapist, I get asked all the time what my thoughts are on ABA, and if I think ABA is harmful. Keep reading to learn more about an OT’s perspective on ABA therapy, some alternatives to ABA therapy, and how to ensure your Autistic child can thrive even if they are in ABA therapy. ABA (Applied behavioral analysis) therapy is a type of intervention where people are trained in behavioral analysis and use that lens to manipulate (either increase a certain behavior or reduce another behavior) behaviors in children, it’s most often used and associated with Autistic children. I’ll be talking about my thoughts on ABA as an intervention for Autistic children, and discuss the practices that have made ABA seem harmful to the Autistic community.