“A Kids Book About Neurodiversity” (author’s notes version)

Laura Petix 0:00 I felt it was important to just straight up say society is designed for neurotypical people, period. There’s no need to sugarcoat it. The reason why I say this is because I want it to be clear that it’s not neurodivergent individuals fault that they need and deserve extra support. And of course, I wanted to then offer the call to action to neurotypical kids to start making a change, to start being more inclusive. Welcome to the sensory wise solutions podcast for parents, where parents can get real actionable strategies to support kids with sensory processing disorder. I’m Laura OT and mom to Liliana, a sensory sensitive kid who inherited my anxiety and my love for all things Disney. Consider me your new ot mom, bestie. I know my stuff, but I also know what it’s really like in the trenches of parenting a child with sensory processing disorder. Speaker 1 1:03 Okay, mom, enough about me, let’s start the podcast. Laura Petix 1:09 Hello everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. It has been a little over a year now since my book, a kid’s book about neurodiversity, has come out, and I still pinch myself every single time someone shares a story or a picture of them reading my book with their kids. I’ve actually done a few read alouds myself to schools and small groups of kids, and it oh my gosh. It just warms my heart when I see their faces light up and connect the dots to something that they’ve experienced in their homes or in their classrooms, but now someone else is like giving life to their experience and giving them the words for it. Nothing means more to me than that, and today we’re gonna dive into kind of my thought process and what my intention was behind a lot of the words, a lot of the phrases and parts of the book. But I do have one quick, exciting announcement before we start the episode, I’m inviting you to join me for a free 60 minute masterclass, happening on September 8, at 5pm Pacific, standard time again, the recording will be sent out. Don’t you worry. This one is for anyone who wants to learn how to curate a sensory lifestyle toolbox, or maybe you’ve heard it called a sensory diet, if you’ve ever Googled or asked or wondered aloud. How do I get ahead of my child’s dysregulation? How do I get them to stop XYZ behavior? How do I get my kid to calm down a proactive sensory lifestyle plan is part of that answer, part of that solution for you, and it’s a lot easier than it sounds, and I’m going to be breaking down a five step process for you to achieve that, to achieve sensory regulation at home, for the entire family, for any neurotype, just head to the OT butterfly.com/regulation to snag your free ticket before September 8. And I’m also going to put a link to it below, all right now into the episode. So one of my visions for this book was I wanted to see it in libraries and classrooms to start the conversation on behalf of neurodivergent kids and individuals, for neurotypical kids to learn and understand more, contrary to what you might think based on the title, I really did create this book more with the intended audience to be neurotypical kids, not neurodivergent kids. I mean, of course, it’s going to benefit them to be represented and hear their voices, you know, like, shared with the world. But I really, really was thinking, How do I want to explain this to neurotypical peers, so that they can understand what neurodiversity looks like? I was thinking, how cool it would be if on the first week of school, or within, you know, the beginning of the school year, the teacher could read this book to their class to set the tone for the year, to get ahead of the conversations of the shaming of the pointing fingers, so that the kids who do rely on accommodations like wearing headphones or needing to fidget or stem or the kids who have to wear certain clothes to feel comfortable, so that they feel more accepted and celebrated. The truth is that I, before I even started working with the kids co I already had this general skeleton, the outline of this book in my head and scripted because I’ve had this conversation with a lot. Of kids, a lot of classrooms, a lot of siblings, a lot of parents. I’ve coached a lot of parents through it as well, just to help the greater population understand what neurodiversity is. And today I want to peel back the curtain a bit and give you more of my author’s Notes version of the book. So I’m going to read passages of the book and providing more context for why I included that. If you want to buy my book, you can find it on Amazon to search for a kid’s book about neurodiversity. Okay, so I’m gonna go back and forth between reading the passage from the book and then, kind of like my a side note, and explaining more behind the thought process of it okay? So it starts out and it says, brains from the outside can all look the same, but there are certain parts of the brain that aren’t so visible, and those little pieces are what make us all different. So my note on that is, whenever I start this conversation with kids, I always want to include the brain. Of course, sometimes I even like start out the whole conversation by asking them if they know where their brain is, if they can point to where their brain is, if they can describe what a brain looks like, just to really get them involved and interacting from the very beginning, and kids love sharing what they know about anything you ask them. The next passage goes in your brain, there are cells called neurons, and the way these neurons connect in your brain is what makes you who you are. These connections make you feel excited for your birthday, love the taste of your favorite food, remember the words to your favorite song, or really fast when you’re playing tag. So in this passage, I want to teach kids that their personality traits, their preferences, their memory, their strengths, their talents, all of the things that they do in everyday life is because of the way that their brain is wired. This is the very, very beginning of helping them understand that we are who we are because of the way that we are born, because of the way that our brain is wired from when we are born. The next passage is so everyone’s brain is different. Everyone’s brain learns, plays, communicates, and experiences the world differently, and that’s called neurodiversity. Neurodiversity is good, and it’s something to celebrate. So this is where I first introduced them to the term of neurodiversity. And when I read this part out loud, had like tip for anyone who’s reading this out to a group, when I read this part out loud to kids, I always pause and I say, can you say neurodiversity? Back to me, and they’ll all say it, and it’s just the sweetest chorus of little, tiny voices, all saying neurodiversity. It’s so cute. It gives me chills every time. But this part is important, because it’s the first time that I introduce the word different in a context that shows that everyone is different. Everyone experiences the world differently. It’s not just that a neurodivergent child is the different one, because I think that the word different has such a negative connotation in this world, but especially among kids, when really different should just be a neutral word. Different is different. There’s there really should be no value assigned to that? And then I say, even though everyone has a different brain, most humans have a similar neurotype. And then I usually go, everyone say neurotype. And then I say neurotype. And then I say the two main neurotypes are neurotypical and neurodivergent again, I also ask them to repeat those words back to me, but here I’m trying to keep the conversation about the different neurotypes as simplified as I can, but I did want to get to the point that there are differences between all brains, but even within those different brains, there’s still patterns and groups of people that have similar kinds of brains. So I just left it at neurotypical and neurodivergent. If I had the word count to expand on this, and this weren’t a children’s book, I’d probably say that within the neurodivergent neurotype, there’s so many different kinds of patterns of thinking and kinds of brain wirings and experiences and learning, and the same goes for neurotypical folks, but the difference really lies in the way that the world and society is built, which is usually more in favor of the way that a neuro. Typical brain and body work, again, depends on how much time I have to talk to the student in front of me, the child in front of me, the class in front of me, but these are the kind of little pauses that I do with the book. Then I say, for example, most neurotypical brains can learn by sitting still while listening to their teacher, or they communicate happiness by smiling and clapping and saying yay. Or they feel comfortable playing hide and seek, or they want cozy hugs from everyone. Neurotypical brains can have differences too, but they share many similarities. This was probably one of the hardest parts of the book for me to write this and then the neurodivergent brains example that I’m going to share in a bit. But I really wanted to give examples. But of course, those examples are not going to work for everyone. So I was really mindful in using the words most neurotypical brains and using the words or not, and but even within that, I wanted, I want here to be clear, and again, I usually say this part out loud that remember that there are still differences within neurotypical brains. So even if you have a neurotypical brain, you may not do these things. Or even if you’re neurodivergent, you might do some of these things. I really wanted to include examples of emotional expression and social interaction that tends to be labeled more as like, quote, the norm, like things that neurotypical think, that everyone likes or does. But guess what, not everyone expresses happiness with smiles. Not everyone likes hide and seek. Some get really scared. Not everyone enjoys hugs. So it’s again, trying to introduce some of these things, but treading very lightly here to make sure that they don’t hear one thing and then all of a sudden think that it relates to them or doesn’t. So this is where it got tricky. Then for the neurodivergent example, I say neurodivergent brains are distinct because their connections are even more unique instead of sitting still, a person with a neurodivergent brain might learn best by standing or fidgeting with something instead of clapping, they might communicate happiness by flapping with their hands instead of hide and seek. They might like making patterns with toys or talking about a favorite show instead of hugs. They might want to high five or no touch at all. Now again, not all of these examples will ring true for every neurodivergent person, and there may be some neurotypical people who do some of these things. But again, these were the examples that I felt would be most, I guess, prominent in a general education classroom, or things that kids might notice the most, but I was very intentional about using the word might rather than like. Like might learn best rather than this is the way that they learn best, or they might communicate with XYZ. I wanted to give examples without over generalizing everything, but again, is really hard in the context of a children’s book with limited word count. So this is why this covers this book needs to be read with, like pausing and adding in the nuance for whoever your audience is at that time. Okay, then another passage I say is now I want you to think about your classroom and your neighborhood. Do you know someone who expresses their feelings differently than what you’re familiar with, do they communicate in ways other than using their voice or wear the same thing every day or focus on their hands instead of looking at the person they’re talking to? So here I was able to elaborate a little bit on more examples about neurodiversity that they may see around the community or in the classroom, and I wanted to include something about emotional expression and communication and learning. Then I say some people have brains which experience some things in the world as unsafe, or they just don’t feel right, then I give an example of like, what it feels like when they are provided a different food instead of their favorite or safe food. I really wanted to illustrate the idea that a sensory meltdown is because the body, the brain, the nervous system detects danger or feels unsafe, because it’s not just about a child being picky or bratty or getting what they want. Then I say for someone with a neurodivergent brain, this unexpected change, and I’m referring to there that the example of the meal I just didn’t read that. Passage for you, but there’s, there’s an example that’s kind of fleshed out, but this unexpected change might feel really big or scary, and their body responds to that. This can look like crying, screaming or moving their bodies in big ways. It was tricky with the wording here, because, again, with the limited word count, we couldn’t say, you know, they become aggressive and they hit and they kick without then also needing to add a qualifying statement that mentions how violence and hurting people is never okay. So instead, I went with a statement of moving their bodies in big ways so that it can be really left, be left up to interpretation. And again, maybe with the child you’re talking to or whoever’s in front of you, you can kind of flesh out what that looks like. And when you’re reading this in the real world with a live audience, maybe you describe those actions and find a way to both agree that it’s never okay to hurt someone and also mention that sometimes it’s the way their bodies respond to threat or through danger. And you might even give examples of what that feels like, like kids relate to when they see a spider and they scream and run and are not able to like really stay calm. So you have some some time here. This is like the moment to really start interacting with the audience or the child in front of you. Then we get into what I consider the pivotal part of the book, where we get to ask the kids how it makes them feel when they see these behaviors that are different from theirs. I wanted to include this because I want them to know that it’s normal that they the neurotypical kids feel uncomfortable, but not because it’s the neurodivergent child’s fault with these behaviors. Really, it’s because the world is set up in a way that makes neurodivergent individuals differences more apparent, more obvious, and it’s harder for them, and no one really talks about that. So I don’t want to make them feel bad for admitting they felt uncomfortable. I really want to normalize that and add on to it. So I say that like this. How does it feel when you see someone react differently than you? Maybe uncomfortable or confusing. Part of the reason why it feels uncomfortable is because it’s different from what neurotypical brains are used to. The truth is, society is designed for neurotypical brains and behaviors, and this excludes neurodivergent individuals, but we can change that again. Here, I felt it was important to just straight up say society is designed for neurotypical people, period. There’s no need to sugarcoat it. The reason why I say this is because I want it to be clear that it’s not neurodivergent individuals fault that they need and deserve extra support. And of course, I wanted to then offer the call to action to neurotypical kids to start making a change, to start being more inclusive. Then I share some examples of what this might look like. So I say if one of your classmates chooses to rock their body or fidget with something in their hands during reading time, that is likely how they learn best. If you notice someone who wears headphones in the grocery store to limit the sound around them, don’t point or stare again. I wanted to give them tangible examples that might trigger a memory, something that they can relate to, of seeing something like that in the past, or maybe very recently, I hear so often that neurodivergent kids are hesitant to use headphones or any other visible accommodations for fear of being bullied, and that seriously breaks my heart. And yet I know, I know that kids who who don’t know any better, will point and stare. So I hope that these conversations just happen more and more, and then I end the book with everyone deserves to feel comfortable being who they are and expressing themselves in a way which is natural to them. What if someone said you had to wear shoes on your hands every day? How silly would that feel? And I usually pause because I see all the little kids faces like giggling and confused, like what that is absurd, and then I continue, well, that’s how we treat neurodivergent people. A lot of the time. We expect them to laugh at jokes that they don’t understand. We expect them to do things with their body that don’t feel natural, or communicate in ways that feel overwhelming. Then I say, Let’s not ask neurodivergent people to act more neurotypical. Let’s acknowledge and celebrate and love the unique wiring of every brain. Now with this specific ending, I wanted this message to hit home, especially for the adults reading this book to the kids, I know, even with the most well meaning, loving, caring parents, caregivers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers who are going to be reading this book may still be holding on to some beliefs that we should fix or change or improve neurodivergent kids behaviors and the way that they live to fit better with a neurotypical society. But my hope is that by reading these words and hearing maybe this extreme analogy, but it gets the point across right, that they may start changing their perspective. All right, I hope that you enjoyed this. Behind the authors, look this lens, this insight into a kids book about neurodiversity. Again, you can find it on Amazon. I’m also going to link it below, but don’t forget to register for my brand new free masterclass where I’ll teach you five steps to achieve sensory regulation at home, including for yourself. It’s happening on September 8, at 5pm Pacific, Standard Time. A recording will be sent out if you can’t make it live, but if you can block out that day and show up live, you’re going to want to come, because I’m going to provide an extra bonus for those who come live that’s going to save you time while still contributing towards regulation for the whole family. So head to the OT butterfly.com/regulation to register, and a link will also be left below in the show notes. All right, see you next week. If you enjoyed this podcast, please consider rating it and leaving a review, which helps other parents find me as well. Want to learn more from me. I share tons more over on Instagram at the OT butterfly, see you next time you. Transcribed by https://otter.ai